I'm Floating
by Brin
Summary: After HG, Alec and Max have a chat about life and love. Narrated by Alec, then Max.
1. Catlike Thief

**Disclaimer:** I don't any of the characters in this story that appear in the hit syndicated TV show, Dark Angel, which are owned by James Cameron. I do, however, own any original characters featured in this story. If you wish to use them, please ask me.

**Summary:** Alec reflecting on Max. Takes place after "Hello, Goodbye."

A/N: I couldn't help myself. I just HAD to write another one of those music-inspired stories! I'm sorry! The song is Catlike Thief by Boxcar Racer.

I'm Floating 

****

By

Brin 

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_I fell down again _

_But I can't complain_

_Another false step could drive me insane_

_All I got myself here to blame_

_So I shake off the seat and I start again_

_Oh no I said I want to go back_

_But I can't win the shit_

_And I'm gonna stay on track_

_Yeah make a deal like that_

_I keep my head up but I never react_

"Love sucks," she says, staring out at the city below with a blank look on her gorgeous face.

I try to see what she's looking at exactly, but her eyes are hard to follow… She has beautiful eyes. I've never noticed that before. They're that color of brown that nobody can really complain about. I mean, I've known some Xs who've complained night and day that their eyes are too brown and boring… Max, no. Max has sparkling brown eyes filled with passion and wisdom. They're the color of milk chocolate with black flecks that are especially visible when the light shines on her face… like silke pie, I guess. I mentally smack myself for that association. That would go over well, wouldn't it? If I went up to Max and said "Your eyes remind me of calorie-ridden, whipped-cream covered silke pie!" she'd probably kill me.

Wrote it down a list a month ago 

_16 chapters of one thing you've blown_

_The best thing yet to help you_

_Through and through that she was_

_I feel her more than you_

_Don't leave, don't leave her_

"That it does," I stupidly say out loud after about twenty minutes.

She looks at me, confused for a second, then remembers her last comment and shrugs her answer.

I smile and she doesn't turn away, but rests her head on her shoulder and turns her eyes downward. She's so gorgeous… I stare at her unabashedly. Nice cheekbones, a cute chin and even cuter dimples. Long, colorful hair of about three different shades of brown with some red mixed in there for flair. It's all natural, of course. An X series wouldn't dream of dying their hair unless they were forced to. And I love her hair. I bet it would be curly if it were short. It smells nice, too… Not that I enjoy smelling her hair, or anything. I resist the urge to reach out and play with a lock of her soft brown hair, instead running a hand through my own rough, unhealthy, gel-encrusted hair. Okay, now that's nasty.

_I get up_

_Just to get knocked back down_

_I sit up_

_Just to get knocked all around_

_I wanna say something_

_But you're out of town_

_I don't wanna have another_

Short down say stand up 

"Alec," she says, turning back to look at whatever it is she looks at in the city, "What did it feel like… when you were in love with Rachel?"

A pang of hurt hits me in the heart and a take in a long breath. She briefly glances at me, and I shrug. "It felt like love." Her face flashes disappointment at my typically Alec answer, and I reiterate, this time thinking before I speak. "It was like… floating. When I would look at her everything would melt away before my very eyes. There was no Manticore, no mission, nothing for me to worry about. It was just me and her in love. Sparks practically jumped from my fingers, I wanted to touch her so badly. Stoke her hair, put my arm around her, kiss her, any kind of contact. To be in love… is to lose all your sense of self… and live for somebody else."

_Lets make it clear follow you home_

_You were not there you saw him coming _

_You disappear home alone every night_

_Seems so clear you think you see me here_

_All along got my crew coming now_

One by one, two by two, three by three 

_Four by four, lets do some more_

Max turns her entire body to me now, a sympathetic look on her face. Her hand, silky soft and small like a child's, reaches out and wipes a tear that I hadn't known was there from my face. I instantly feel ashamed for crying in front of a woman, and turn my head, but she gently takes my chin and turns me back to look at her. I see tears glistening in her own eyes and she whispers in a tiny, scared voice, "Alec… I'm not in love with Logan. I… don't think I was ever _really_ in love with him."

I stare at her, surprised by this notion. A tear falls down my face uninhibited, and suddenly I don't care. She looks so small outlined against the horizon, which is filled to the brink with the bright lights of buildings. Hesitantly, I extend an arm and place it around her shoulders while moving closer to her. "Max… how can you say that? I thought…"

"You thought, wrong Alec," she interrupts me.

_Call me back when word is that she's gone_

_Cat like thief she stole air from my lungs_

_Leave me standing on this lonely grave_

I dug it out in case she turns away 

_Don't leave, don't leave her_

"You see, Alec, I've never felt like that around Logan. Never," she says quietly. "And I trust your opinion on love whole-heartedly."

She settles against my side like a kitten and my breathing practically stops. I've gone through a hundred scenarios in my head of conversations with Max, and none of them have come to this point. I try to tell my lungs and diaphragm to start functioning again, but they rebel and I hiccup twice. Max laughs against my shoulder and lifts her head to look at me with those passionate brown eyes. I push a disobedient lock of hair from her eyes and smile, eyeing her full lips anxiously. I wonder what it would be like… No, don't go there Alec. Don't treat her like just another girl… I stop and think about this for a minute. If she's not just another girl, then she's my friend, right? But friends don't… No, I stop myself again. Max would never choose me.

"Alec?"

"Yes, Max?" I look down and give her my best smile, despite what I'm feeling inside. She's staring up at me again with those black-speckled eyes.

"Stay with me?"

"Of course, Maxie. Whatever you want," I say quietly, stroking her hair comfortingly as she breaks down and starts to cry. "Just cry, Maxie." I don't even have to ask her why. Life as a transgenic is no walk in the park, and we barely have enough time to stop and breathe, much less cry on someone else's shoulder. I know she cries of Ben, Logan, Brain, her family, Joshua… anything worth crying about. "I'm gonna be right here, Maxie."

And suddenly I'm floating. All my worries melt away right before my very eyes. There is no Manticore, no missions, nothing for me to worry about. Just me and her. Sparks jumped from my fingers to her skin as I held her, wanting to kiss her. I lose my sense of self and suddenly… I'm living for someone else.

Don't leave  
Don't leave her  
Don't leave  
Don't leave her  
Don't leave  
Don't leave her  
Don't leave


	2. Love at Second Sight

**Disclaimer:** I don't any of the characters in this story that appear in the hit syndicated TV show, Dark Angel, which are owned by James Cameron. I do, however, own any original characters featured in this story. If you wish to use them, please ask me.

Summary: Max reflects on Alec. Takes place after "Hello, Goodbye." Song is "Before I Loved You" by Kelly Clarkson.

A/N: I been listenin to way too many romance songs… I'm not a huge ultra-big fan of the song, hope I did it justice.

I'm Floating 

****

By

Brin 

"Life is not measured in the moments you take breath, but the moments that take your breath away." –Unknown

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**Chapter 2:** Love at Second Sight

I downed a shot, wincing at the burning sensation it ignited in my stomach, then looked up at my best friend.

OC stared back at me with narrowed eyes. "Boo… when ya gonna forget you're a badass bitch and hookup with that bee-yootiful honey you got over there?" asked Original Cindy, motioning towards a brooding figure across the room with a nod of her head.

"He isn't my honey! How come we go over this at least twice a week?!" I whined, forcing myself not to look over at Alec. "Come on, OC, you know Alec and I could never by like that."

OC gave me a blank look. "No… actually, I never quite caught the reason you two ain't together. I mean, you two don't exactly have a genetically-targeted retro virus keeping you apart, if ya know what I mean." She paused long enough to take a sip of beer. "So tell me, Boo, why _aren't _you two together?"

I opened her mouth to reply, stopped, then tried again, stopped, then finally came up with, "Because he's an asshole."

"Mmhmm," said OC skeptically. "Boo, you gotta come up with a better reason than that."

"He looks like one of my brothers."

"From what you tell me, your brother Krit and your sister Syl hooked up, suga. I'm afraid that argument don't work with Original Cindy, either." OC narrowed her eyes.

"Look, Manticore made us breeding partners. That's just… weird. And if I hooked up with him then they'd just be getting what they wanted," I snapped irritably. _Yeah, but who cares? Look at him! _that traitorous little voice whispered in my ear. I shook my head at OC and downed another shot as the music changed from a fast-paced hip hop song to a slow Pre-Pulse pop melody.__

_I wonder how I ever made it through a day_

_How did I settle for the world in shades of gray_

_When you go in circles all the scenery looks the same_

_And you don't know why_

Original Cindy leaned close to her friend, setting down her glass. "Alright, Boo, that's it. Original Cindy has had enough of this bullshit." She leaned even closer, lowering her voice to a whisper. "I seen the looks you and Alec pass between each other, Boo. You two are a regular old match made in Manticore. Suga, he's head over heels for you."

I glanced across the room at Alec, finding him staring at me, and we both looked away quickly in embarrassment.

"Boo, guys like that don't come around often. He'd give his life for you, Max, and you know he would. What you got against poor Alec?"__

_And I looked into your eyes_

_Where the road stretched out in front of me_

_And I realized_

_I'd never lived before your love_

_Nothing,_ that little voice whispered again… but my heart and my head were telling me two different things.  What was it that I had against Alec? Sure, he looked like Ben… but I had gotten used to it. I admit sometimes I would forget he was Alec and be surprised at seeing Ben walking around again, but those times had lessened. I knew Ben and Alec were two different people. Two _very_ different people. Ben had been cold-hearted, confused, and ever so alone. Alec… Alec was passionate, courageous, a bit lost, but always willing to lend a hand. So many times we had fought, but those petty arguments never really got to me. Sometimes they were even fun. Alec has this way of making me smile, not the kind of smile you force to make someone feel better about themselves, but those genuine grins that only come once in awhile. He makes me laugh a lot, too. Sometimes I'd be sitting with Logan, going over the latest save-the-world campaign and I'd just break into a fit of laughter from a memory of him doing something stupid. Logan would just stare at me like I was crazy. Speaking of Logan, I also liked Alec's half-work-half-play attitude. Logan is all work, work, work… but with Alec, I can actually go hang with him and he won't be caught up in some medical mystery or depressing story about corrupt politicians. Deep down… _what_ really kept me away from Alec?

"Everything," I said quietly, though my voice was hollow and emotionless.

"Liar," replied OC. She put her hand on my shoulder and whispered, "He's coming over here."__

_I'd never felt_

_Before your touch_

_And I'd never needed anyone_

_To make me feel alive_

My head whipped up and my heart leapt into my throat as I realized that Alec was, indeed, moving towards us. He had that passionate look in his eye that he gets when he talks of Rachel, his missions, his old friends. I felt my pulse jumpstart, heart racing, adrenaline setting fire to my veins. No, no, no, no, no, no! I can't go through with this right now! I frantically looked at OC for some kind of way out of this, only to find that she actually left the table to flirt with some blonde chick. So I was stuck with only a bubble of space between me and Alec—a  bubble that was getting continually smaller.__

_But then again,_

_I wasn't really livin'_

_I'd never lived..._

_Before your love_

I watched his face closely, trying to discern one emotion from another, but his face was so full of emotion that I could barely tell whether he was going to kill me or kiss me. _Damn, but he looks good when he's feeling conviction._ I stared at the angled cheekbones, smooth skin, and absolutely gorgeous green eyes. I've never seen eyes more colorful. It might sound crazy, but his eyes are that bright green color of marijuana. I cringe at the bad example going through my mind and he stops, one foot dangling in midair, as if thinking I'm going to tell him off.__

_I wanted more than just another merry life_

_All of my dreams seemed like castles in the sky_

_I stand before you and my heart is in your hands_

"Max," he greets me warily.

"Alec," I return.

He scratched the back of his neck, the corner of his lips twitching nervously, and then clapped his hands together. He was obviously stalling.

"Yes, Alec?" I prodded, putting on my best I-don't-give-a-damn look.__

_And I don't know how_

_I'd survive without your kiss_

_'Cause you've given me_

_A reason to exist_

"Max, would you like to dance?" he suddenly blurted, then turned bright red in embarrassment.

My shot glass fell to the floor and shattered, catching the attention of the people partying around us. They spared us a curious glance, then shrugged it off and returned to their previous activities. I immediately put my head down to avoid Alec seeing that I was turning beet red. My face felt like it was on fire.

"I-I-I-I-I," I stammered breathlessly. _I would love to. _"S-s-s-sure."

Alec held his hand out, his face unsure and nervous. I stared at it for a second before placing my small hand into his larger one and allowing myself to be pulled onto the dance floor.__

_I'd never lived_

_Before your love_

_I'd never felt_

_Before your touch_

_I'd never needed anyone_

_To make me feel alive_

_But then again,_

_I wasn't really livin'_

I don't know if I was imagining things, but when we stepped onto the floor everyone else sort of… left. It was just Alec and I, staring at each other awkwardly. I felt like a silly schoolgirl at her first dance. I'd loved dancing ever since I was twelve years old, and had danced with more guys than even I could recall, yet I was reduced to a stammering fool here in front of Alec, the one man I said would never intimidate or make an idiot out of me.

Alec was the first to get over his nervousness. He put an arm around my waist and pulled my body to his. Fire raced underneath my skin at the contact and I turned away to avoid letting him see how scared I must've looked. He then took my hands and put them on his shoulders, placing both his hands on my hips. I was still looking away, but he gently pulled my chin so that I was looking straight up at him.

_I'd never lived..._

_I'd never lived..._

_Before your love_

_I'd never lived _

_Before your love_

Staring up into those emerald green orbs, I could see them glimmering with tears. I must've been crying, too, because after a few endless moments we started laughing at our emotional antics and he wiped my cheek with this thumb. He then leaned forward and whispered in my ear, "You know why I'm crying?"

"No," I replied with a sniffle.

"Because you're so beautiful I can't stand it," he answered, then placed a feather-soft kiss on my neck.__

_And I don't know why_

_Why the sun decides to shine_

_But you've breathed your love into me just in time_

"Do you know why _I _am crying, Alec?" I asked to avoid fainting.

"Why, Max?"

"Because I can't decide if I'm awake or not… I don't want to wake up," I replied softly. It was the truth. I just wanted to see what would happen if I pinched myself.

Alec smiled at me, not one of those smug grins he puts on when he doesn't want you to know what he's feeling, but a smile that I had only seen once or twice before. He then leaned so close to me that I could feel his breath tickle my face and whispered, "I love you, Max."__

_I'd never lived _

_Before your love_

_I'd never felt_

_Before your touch_

_I'd never needed anyone_

_To make me feel alive_

_But then again_

_I wasn't really livin'_

I'd never believed in love at first sight.

But now I believe in love at the second.

"I love you, too."

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Heheh, fluffynes ^_^ I just _HAD_ to write this. The idea has been eating at me for weeks!


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